Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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