You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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