I hate your face
youre lurking in front of me
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
