absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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