Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
