laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
