nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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