absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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