You really coming over, don't trick.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
