Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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