Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
