His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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