it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
