my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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