I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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