Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize