We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
