Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
