saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
