So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
