...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
