i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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