We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
