i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize