Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
