The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
