Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
