how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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