I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
