Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.