omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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