oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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