He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
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I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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