People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
