At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
