So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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