remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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