Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
