The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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