Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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