So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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