am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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