If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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