So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
