Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
