I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
