Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
