If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
