he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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