Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
