Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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