i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
