hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
