yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
