She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Someone signed my nipple.
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