im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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