Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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