Jerry, you need to find god
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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