from now on my penis is your penis
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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