I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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