I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
