I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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