Sry I called you an 8
how can u be prego again
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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